Wow, have not been on here for ages, what a load of old crap I use to write. Il leave them on here anyway maybe a progression will follow one day. At the moment I dont really have the time to sit and develop my thoughts and feelings enough to put into words.. In actual fact thats not true, I have so much I could write life has changed alot since last blogging.. another few months il put it into writting...

Star Wars according to a 3 year old.

This video is the best video iv ever seen this girl is soooooooo sweet.

Check out my Interview with up and coming star Shaun Anthony at

http://www.hecklerspray.com/the-spray-qa-shaun-anthony/200711529.php#more-11529

Driving in pyjamas

I often drive in my pyjamas, yes my pyjamas and I always wonder if any one else does this. When I am at home for comfor,t I always wear pyjamas I dont feel comfortable in anything else. I always like to feel like I am in bed. When I am at home I spend most of the time sleeping so I like to wear them, I often change them 2 sometimes 3 times a day; when my boyfriend comes over I often put them on in the afternoon then, when its time to take him home rather than waste time changing, I go out with them on. I do often wonder what would happen if I was pulled over by police or if I had an accident. However even though I have these worries I persistantly drive in my pyjamas. Tonight I really thought about it as I went out in my Pyjama pants, fluffy socks and work shirt, however usually its the full pyjama outfit and want to know what everyone else thinks about this and if anyone else has ever done this with bad consequence.

How embarassed would I be if I did get into trouble whilst driving........... I just hope I never have to find out.

Amy Winehouse

In all the weeks of press, Amy Winehouse has certainly and most rightly received a backlash from fans. For the past few months we have seen her strolling and rolling through the streets on London with her husband, high on drugs and as fragile as my mums precious ceramic plant pots. She has disgraced her family and has ignored the support her fans have been giving her and continued to be snapped looking like she’s been dragged through a hedge backwards. Don’t get me wrong I am a huge fan however she has received a huge amount of support from her fans who have been spending hard earned………or, student loan, on going to see her perform or in most cases, Not!.
On November 14th at her Birmingham gig she finally endured a well deserved backlash as she was booed by her fans after a dismal performance of fumbling and in some instances even tumbling. The audience had in fact been patient with the drunk star until they finally tired of her when she made a tribute to her accused GBH offender hubby Blake Fielder-Civil. However from the reports, I am wondering whether she was drunk as she said to her booing audience ‘Let me tell you something. First of all, if you’re booing you’re a mug for buying a ticket’. Credit where credit is due, this was a truly hilarious and legendry comment to have made, she was in some respects perfectly right to have said considering that her problems have been known to everyone, maybe this is what should have been expected, however under the circumstances and after the support she has received this though true, should not have been said. Winehouse has most defiantly lost her Birmingham fans; and probably the Manchurians to!.
In all seriousness however, Winehouse does have issues, but she will not resolve her issues until she gets this backlash from fans, if I was in her situation and after all the bad press I knew that I was still loved by fans I wouldn’t bother to change either and so hopefully she may now realise that she is starting to lose her once so supportive fans to and maybe this will tempt her to get the help she needs.
I cannot say that she is not a good role model fro young people because I strongly believe that fame and money exert themselves in different ways and in Winehouse, its happened in a bad way just like Britney Spears and others along the way, Its upto her to get help and hopefully she will and in the mean time it is also upto her fans to show her that what she is doing to herself in appearing on the front of the newspaper, like a scene from Gladiator, is not right.
Get well Amy, you cheeky cow.

Ta Pinu and The Feast, Viva Madonna Tal-Grazzja

Catholism as I mentioned in yesterdays blog is something that is devout, particularly to Our Lady of Grace, to whom the city of Zabbar Sanctuary is dedicated. The paintings and other artefacts in the village church museum are beautiful. I strongly believe that this belief, is the reason for the beautiful nature of the Maltese people. Church is a very important part of the Maltese life and its these beliefs that makes the Maltese such nice, kind and caring peple.
Every year I visit Malta, Ta Pinu church in Gozo is somewhere that I always visit, the church notorious for being a miracle church. I really enjoy visiting this church, it gives you hope when perhaps there is none. 
The feast is another of the most memorable events in Malta and as a child I enjoyed many in Zabbar, the singing the dancing the band and the shear enjoyment of the weekend celebrations is something thats hard to put into words. My family are supporters of Ghaqda Madonna Tal-Grazzja Banda San Mikiel, or the Greens as they are known, however I did attend a Rave of the Societa Filamonica Maria Mater Gratias or Blues, a few years ago, as one of my cousins is a supporter, however our great aunts and uncles are not aware of this or there would be big trouble. The fireworks the church bells, the colours, the motorcycle and bicycle race, a fantastic event which can be enjoyed by young and old. The family gathered on the streets as I was carried high the shoulders of my uncles and paraded around with my green flag, pretending to know the words of the songs that were being sang. The feast days are the most happy memories of Malta I have the whole family would celebrate together and as the years go by those family members who were there at the feast when I was child and are no longer and its these memories that account for the happier days of life.

A Maltese boy in the 1940's

Last night I enjoyed an indepth conversation with my Nunnu Victor about his life growing up in Malta and how he met my Nan Grace. With no apprehension he delved straight in, I could hardly get him stop, and why would I when his story was so facisinating. Firstly I asked him where he met my nan, he said he used to see her going to school and he would meet her in an alleyway in Zabbar when she was finished, he himself was kicked out of school. As nans family were very strict with her she was in big trouble when her father found out she was courting him. Nunnus family were also very strict in particular his father.

I wasnt aware of this until last night but nunnus father Bert was actually English, he was in the Army whilst his Mum Doloris was a nurse, however my Grandad is as Maltese as they get, sun kissed skin all year round, strong maltese accent and so on. Its difficult for me to look at him and believe he has an English father, but its true. Bert used to tell him not to have the Maltese kids in his house, however it would have been very hard being that he was born and living in malta, when my grandad use to talk Maltese to his friends his father use to think they were talking about him, being that he himself didnt know the Maltese language.

When I asked him what he did of an evening, his reply 'chase girls' I wonder if anyone get relate to that!. I said 'but you were with nanna' he replied with a little laugh 'but I still chased girls'. He then continued that he chased girls in Valetta, Cospicua and where he lived Zabbar. Nanna use to cook and clean and often he would go shopping with her where she would buy him sweets!. From the conversation and from witnessing the lives of the majority of my family that live in Malta, it hasnt changed a bit.
I love the traditional lives of the Maltese and I suppose that has alot to do with the religion aswell,the majority are catholic so its taken extremely seriously. in England however its difficult to appreciate one religion fully, as there are so many other religions in practice.Nunnu and nan came to live in England because one of his 4 brothers had came to live here to earn better money, so he decided to. He did add that he was coming back and forth from Malta for many years and did not settle here in England until 1972. This explains why my mum has so many childhood memories in Malta.

Unfortunatly My nan Grace very sadly passed away in April, so Im not able to comment on her life in Malta and her version of events but I know she would have only nice things to say about the things she did and the people she met, she loved Malta and that is where he final resting place is, even though her immediate family are in England, the family chose to bury her in her favourite place where its peaceful and sunny all year round.

A Paradise called Malta

Malta, is such a wonderful country, never do I wish to bathe on any other beaches in the world than those on the Maltese coast. Mellieha Bay has to be my favourite, Though even bathing on the paved path along the Marsacala promenade is paradise. It is such a pleasant feeling knowing that my family are from such a beautiful, place.So here the beginnings of my love for Malta.My Nan and grandad were born and bred in Malta they lived in Zabbar, Nanna was born in 1942 and Nunnu born in 1939. My Nanna Grace was just 12 when she met Victor, they moved to England in 1957 to start a new life, Im not sure why, but Nunnus coming over tonight so I will ask him a few questions about his life in Malta and update you all tomorrow. They have lived in England since then and regularly visited Malta, all my Mums extended family live in Malta, from Zabbar to the other end of the island Mellieha. Mum was born here but spent most of her life to and from Malta with her her Mum and Dad. Staying with her nan in her big house in Zabbar with a beautiful balcony that was fantastic to watch the yearly feast from.

The family visit Malta regulalrly Mum would never go to Spain or Portugal, or anywhere else for that matter, she says " It wont be the same as Malta" and I totally agree with her.Dad, being an Englishman agrees to. He has no choice. When we go to Malta we spend between 2-4 weeks there theres always plenty to do, we usually stay in appartments in Marsacala, and when mum visits Zabbar, she relives the memories of her childhood, every year we hear the same stories, it makes mum so happy when shes in Malta.A typical day in Malta for us would be getting up, getting our beach bags, Patizzis on the way, pea ones are my favourites, or maybe I will have a slice of pizza with the olives on it. Mmmmm......... anyways then onto the beach depending on the mood we would travel to the other end of the island and go to Mallieha bay, Armer, Golden bay or Paradise bay. all are equally beautiful. We would enjoy big ice-creams and ħobz biż-żejt (Mallieha Bay) hotdogs (Armer) and of course the waters and the hot sun. In the evening we would go for a meal, my favourite restuarant is Ximos in Marsacala its wonderful food in a tiny restaurant that hosts around 12 people at a time, it serves beautiful fresh lampuki and a range of pastas.

In July this year I came with my Partner, he is now like me and won't visit any other country in the summer. The weather was wonderful this year, we stayed in the Seabank in Mellieha, this is the first time I have ever stayed in a hotel in Malta,as I mentioned before we usually stay in appartments and as I could not rent a car, I stayed in Mellieha,simply because of the beach!. This holiday gave me the opportunity to explore Malta on my own without being in and out of the car, I got to find my way around by bus and was so impressed with some of the newer buses in Malta, the contrast between the new and old was so noticeable, however those old buses are part of the Maltese culture and history and it would be a shame to replace all of the them, it is now so noticeable in Malta just how much its moving on and modernising, all the roads and road signs are all very much like Britain now. However, thats not always a good thing.

Thats what I really love about Malta, its unique its not like Spain swamping with loud, drunken English people (not that theres a problem with that) , its not like Britain busy and overwhelming. Its calm, relaxed and clean. It is paradise, theres no real worry about being on the streets at night, no real fear of being hurt or attacked or like in England you can be murdered for looking the wrong way. The Maltese can go out and enjoy thier lives without the concerns that people living in England have, though England is a beautiful place to visit, the shops we have are out of this world, the number of restuarants are uncountable and the wide range of cultures is growing, the continuing problems for people who live here in England are growing. We do not have the peice of mind we once had. The Maltese, I believe do.

Space Invaders drive me mad

Why is it that though the space available in this world it is never enough for some people and they have to invade the space of others. I have now given up with public transport as I am so fed up with people sitting on my lap when they get on the bus. Usually there are 5 or 10 seats and someone will get on the bus and rather than sitting on the empty seats, they will sit next to me and catch my leg under there backside, then they will keep moving in till they are satisfied that I my head is squashed against the window and my legs are folded over one another.
This is one of many scenarios that occurs everyday in my life of public transport travel, an example of another is when I am standing at the exit door on the bus. The bus is moving packed with people crammed together and you cant move for fear of falling over and more importantly fear of falling on top of someone else, then a passenger who wants to leave the bus will come and stand right behind me and will persistently start pushing his/her body towards me to move me so they can get of at there stop which is still half a mile down the road. Is it not clear to them that you cannot get of the bus whilst it is in motion, its so frustrating and I cannot understand why this physical abuse is necessary whilst travelling to work or going shopping.

These are everyday occurrences in my life and I am starting to wonder if I am the only one with this problem, am I the only one who does mind being sat on and pushed.
I have had enough of using public transport and cannot understand why people need to get so close that they might aswell ignore your existence. I really cannot take it anyone. I do not want their bottom on my coat, stopping me from moving, I do not want my air supply cut of or contaminated by their fish supper breath. London is a busy place, but we all need some space and do not wish to be pushed, shoved and sat on and it would be really great if they could sit on the seat that’s available to them and not the seat already vacated by somebody else. I wish they would stop the ignorance and think of others.

Life, Death And The In Between

I have always wondered where the concept of Life and Death began, as a catholic, I understand the basics of Gods creation and the story of Adam and Eve, however for me these basics are not enough, I want to know who decided we will live to eventually die? and why?, who decided we would have two legs?, two arms? four fingers and a thumb?, where did the ability to walk begin?, who created disease?,who decided we would live in houses? who decided what houses would look like?. Who created a male and female?, the words mum and dad?, gran and grandad?, who created words?, I could go on all night, theres so many questions I would like answers to however i do not believe i understand the language of the bible enough to get some answers, I want to hear opinions i want to know if anyone else thinks about these things and the most important question id like to ask is whats the reason for our eventual death?.